Tuesday, January 8, 2013

Top Three Superpowers I’d Hate to Have

World of Shell and BoneOur guest blogger is Adriana Ryan author of World of Shell and Bone.

Top Three Superpowers I’d Hate to Have

Now that the Avengers movie has come and gone, there’s been a lot of “What superpower do you wish you had?” type questions floating around on the interwebz. That’s a pretty nifty thing to think about, don’t get me wrong. I mean, the entire Awakened trilogy I’m writing is based on the idea of people with special powers.
However, my brain rarely deigns to think linearly. If there’s something twisty about a thought, that thought will be twisted before it is thunk.
And that’s how I came up with my list of Top Three Superpowers That Would Suck:
3. Lipokinesis aka Fat Manipulation: According to Wikipedia, users with this ability can multiply their fat cells, manipulate fat in others’ bodies, or even become so heavy as to have their own gravity. Um, yeah, nothing about that appeals to me. My superpower is being fat enough to be a mini-planet? Sorry, but all that brings to mind is a ton (pun intended) of Yo Mama jokes.
2. Prehensile Tongue. This superpower lets you wrap your extra-long tongue around things… Looking for more? Well, sorry, but that’s about it. Beware, though, because your super-tongue might get dirty from wagging around near bad guys. If I was bestowed with a superpower and it turned out to be a prehensile tongue, I’d probably use my tongue to hang myself.
1. Bubble Generation: Really? Bubble generation? My three-year-old can do that. Apparently these bubbles can be used to clean things (ooh, scary). One of the limitations listed: Bubbles may pop as they are fragile. Fail. Major fail.
And thus, we’ve come to the end of my list! So tell me, what superpowers would you hate to have?

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